Vivi Is Sugar Baby!
by pokemypocky
Summary: It's Vivi's first time at Blage Mage Village. He's so excited that he gets a little carried away with his song. Poor Dagger... Why did she have to be the butt of the joke? Based on the song Sugar Baby.


_**I do not own "Final Fantasy IX" or any of the characters in this story,**_

_**Nor do I own the song "Sugar Baby,"**_

_**Which is a Sailor Moon cover of "Slim Shady"**_

"**Vivi Is Sugar Baby!"**

BLACK MAGE VILLAGE

It was unlike anything Vivi had ever seen before in his young life. A village, hidden behind a forest, the populous entirely of black mages, just like himself! The houses were made of wood, probably from the trees that has grown around the village. There were three black mages standing in the square, where Vivi, Zidane, Quina, and Dagger entered.

When Zidane walked up behind Vivi, the other Black Mages tensed up a little bit.

"H-H-H- Humans…" one of them said as they backed away.

"What's wrong?" another asked before turning around. He was just as shocked as the others were.

In a flash, they all ran away. "Humans! Run!!!"

Vivi started to run after them, but stopped. "W-Wait!"

Zidane walked after him, a little confused.

"Did you see them!?" Vivi asked excitedly.

"Y-Yeah…"

"They were talking! There ARE others like me!" Vivi was so excited he could hardly contain himself. He took off running without warning through the streets of the village.

Dagger came into the village for the first time and walked up to Zidane when she saw him. "Why would anyone build a village in the middle of a dying forest…?"

"Beats me…" Zidane replied with a shrug.

Dagger looked around. "Where's Vivi?"

Zidane turned to point. "He went that way… but…" He turned around again to find that Dagger had already gone. "Hey!"

Quina came running into the village and smiled wide. "A village! Village always have good food. I go find!" He took off running without saying a word to Zidane.

Zidane sighed. "Geez, you people…"

**oOo**

"The humans are here!" a black mage hollered as he ran through the village. At the sound of the warning, the other black mages his in their houses, locking their doors from the inside.

Vivi was so excited that he just kept on running after the one black mage.

"Vivi!" Dagger hollered as she tried desperately to keep up with him. When she turned the corner, she hoped that she would find Vivi. Instead, much to her surprise, she ran into a group of about twenty-five black mages! This was both surprising and inconvenient.

Which one was Vivi!?

He had to be lost in the crowd somewhere, she thought. She walked up to one black mage and tapped on his shoulder. "Um, excuse me?"

"Hmm?" the black mage didn't turn around, as he was focused on something else.

"What is happening now?" she asked as she followed his gaze to an open space in the area, where a microphone stood.

"We're getting ready for the show. Some of us are gonna get up there and sing today."

"Oh…" Dagger was a little surprised. She never imagined that black mages liked to sing. She shook her head. "We don't have time for this. I've got to find Vivi and get back to the others.

She began searching the crowd, tapping several shoulders.

"Vivi?"

"I'm not Vivi. Go away."

"Is that you, Vivi?"

"No! What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing. Sorry."

"Vivi, we have to go."

"But the show's just started. And I'm not Vivi!"

Finally, Dagger made her way back out of the crowd, as if she was coming up for air. "This is hopeless…"

"Hey, Dagger!" Zidane hollered and waved as he came up to her. "What's up?"

She gave him an annoyed look. "I can't find Vivi, _that's_ what's up!"

Quina came running in from another direction. "I find no food," he/she complained.

Zidane shook his head. "This is no time to be eating Quina."

Dagger paced around back and forth, trying to figure out a way out of this mess. She remembered the microphone and smiled. "Wait here, you two. I've got an idea."

Zidane and Quina watched as she made her way back through the crowd of black mages, and up to the microphone. "What is she doing?" Zidane asked himself in a whisper.

Dagger tapped the microphone and cleared her throat. "Ahem… Test, test, test, test…" She tapped the microphone again. "Hello… Are we ready to go here?"

"She's gone mad!" Zidane said. "What is she thinking!?"

"Ahem, may I have you attention please?"

All of the black mages looked at her. "What?" they asked at once.

Garnet wasn't sure they heard her. "May I have your attention please?"

"Yeah!" they all hollered.

"Will the real Vivi Orunitia please speak up?"

There was complete silence from the audience.

Dagger sighed. "We're gonna have a problem here…"

At that moment, Vivi came running through the crowd, just as excited before. He ran up to her and grabbed the microphone.

Zidane and Quina ran through the crowd and met up with them. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Zidane exclaimed as Vivi grabbed the microphone. When they all saw the black mages were watching them, the three stepped back and reluctantly let Vivi do his thing, while helping out as much as they could.

- - -

**VIVI:**_ Y'all act like you never heard a little black mage before. Jaws all on the floor, acting like you can buy me in a toy store._

**ZIDANE:**_ Cha-ching!_

**VIVI:**_ Cruising the halls, you best be looking for more, 'cause I'm bigger than that and I wont be stuck on the floor. HAHAHAHAHAHA!_

**QUINA:**_What you laughing at?_

**VIVI:**_ You're all talking like, "Ah, wait. No way. You're kidding. He didn't just sound how I thought he did, did he?"_

**DAGGER:**_ Yeah, yeah, yeah!_

**VIVI:**_ Hey, hey, hey, where's Vivi?_

**ZIDANE:**_ Where you at?_

**VIVI:**_ I'm right here, singing into the microphone. Tee-hee!_

**QUINA:**_ Ha ha!_

**VIVI:**_ Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar baby! (sugar baby) I'm sugar baby, the real sugar, all you other sugar babies are just imitating. So, won't the real sugar baby please stand up, please stand up, please stand up!_

**ZIDANE, QUINA, DAGGER:**_ 'Cause he's sugar baby, the real sugar baby, all you other sugar babies are just imitating. So, won't the real sugar baby please stand up, please stand up, please stand up!_

Vivi turned around and pointed at Dagger, who was a little surprised and embarrassed to be put on the spot so abruptly.

**VIVI:** _Look at her, walking around with her own crew -- Zidane, Quina, and me, too. She's so darn short though._

**DAGGER:** _WHAT!?_

**VIVI: **_Yeah…_

**ZIDANE: **_That's my girl, yo!_

Vivi gestured to the other black mages, who were all getting a kick out of his performance.

**VIVI:** _And there's a million of us. Hat's like me, cloths like me, just don't give a-- OH! I would never say that!_

**QUINA: **_Vivi!_

**VIVI: **_They dress like me, walk like me, have faces like mine. They just might be the next best thing, but not quite me. I'm sugar baby, the real sugar baby, all you other sugar babies are just imitating. So, won't the real sugar baby please jump up, please jump up, please jump up!_

**ZIDNAE, QUINA, DAGGER:** _'Cause he's sugar baby, the real sugar baby, all you other sugar babies are just imitating. So, won't the real sugar baby please jump up, please jump up, please jump up!_

**VIVI:** _Oh! And could the rest of you please sit down, 'cause I can't see anything. Thanks!_

_- - -_

When their song ended, the black mates clapped for joy.

Vivi took a few bows before turning to his friends.

"That was great, Vivi!" Zidane said, clapping.

Vivi blushed. "I guess I was more excited than I thought…"

Dagger stood there, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Vivi noticed her. "Um, Dagger? Is something wrong?"

She slowly turned her head and looked at him. "Oh, no. Nothing. I was just wondering…" She towered over him ominously, and spoke with her teeth clenched. "You really think I'm _short!?_"

**THE END**


End file.
